do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
