Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
