She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
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