When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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