Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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