I need help removing her.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
