he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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