i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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