There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
