The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
