No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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