Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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