Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
