I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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