who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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