whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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