dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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