So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
