her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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