C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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