His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
