I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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