that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
try to milk me bitch
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
