you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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