You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
