My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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