I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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