You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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