A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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