It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
