is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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