dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk is not a location!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
