apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
