it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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