Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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