stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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