Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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