Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
