Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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