Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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