he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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