My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
