I have demons in me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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