it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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