I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
whose parrot is this?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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