What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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