he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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