wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have feelings that need drinking.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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