yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
