I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
