We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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