careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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