matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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