grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
