I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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