i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My pussy is not your playground.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
