How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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