they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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