She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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