i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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