Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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