Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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