One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
