I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
