You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
