as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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